Lady Thoughts No. 3

Lady is the protagonist of Bright Side. As a child, she was submitted to conditioning to become a psychic assassin at Bright Side - a brainwashing facility disguised as a private boarding school.

#LadyThoughts is a series of posts designed to emulate the journal of Lady so that I may get to know her as I write the screenplay. You can see the rest of the posts by clicking on the pink link above or the tag below in the metadata of this or any other #LadyThoughts post. Enjoy!

I feel an urgency, lurking between my shoulder blades, to deny the reality of—and my ability to explain—what has happened in the past 48 hours... what IS happening. I have accessed a knowledge that claims to have been dormant in me - and I believe it, because it is me. Its source is my source.

I am different—I am the same as I always was. I am again .


I see this video and my skin prickles, magnetized, repelling vibrations stored in my organic memory. My right eye aches and memories of cold sterile rooms rise like a tide.

I see this video and I think of Iron Man 3the Mandarin, the Master—distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

I think how convenient, this relatively innocent 'behind-the-scenes' footage of your illusive practices leaked to a mob of hungry trolls and anti-trolls and I can hear your intentions in fruition.

"Boring" they say.

"Stag parties?" they say, "Come on, snuff her and drink her blood already."

Summon Christopher Walken, Then Read This

I often say ‘Holy Guacamole’ and I always dislike it because there are so many syllables in ‘Guacamole’—multi-syllabic; you know! And ‘Holy Frijole!’ I dislike even MORE because of the all that alliteration business—the double ‘holi’ sound. And ‘Holy Moley’… way too simple.

So, suddenly I open my mouth to say ‘Holy—’ and what comes out? Canoli! A canoli comes out! Holy Canoli! 

Do people say ‘Holy Canoli’? They do, don’t they.

It’s perfect. It’s succint. It has the hard ck- for a very satisfying contrast to the soft, hesitant, and even—in some cases—the tired hh-

It’s so refreshing!

Presence | A piece of unrecorded spoken word.

I am paralyzed, you know, like they say, with fear. But it is different than you think it’s going to be. It is a stillness, a frozen-ness…statuesque…

Don’t move, don’t make a sound, don’t exist, cease to exist completely, become nothingness, become the air

I guess in that way it is a lot like Buddhism… but… not

I don’t want it anymore, I don’t want to be stuck in the absence of time ever again; and this force, this nasty, clinging, dark, viscous, treacherous force is flooding toward me and as soon as I make the decision, as soon as I THINK
‘I don’t want this anymore,’
it happens

Beams of light come out of the fabric of space around me
and form a web that reaches infinity with a hollow sphere for me
in the center

and I am safe and breathing and moving and seeing and singing from places within me I have never known