Twosday

It's day two of no-Facebook / no-work-of-one-sort staycation. I've had various notable experiences, like mindlessly logging onto Facebook (yesterday) and getting as far as liking a friend's post before realizing that I am on hiatus, like having a moment of severe lack (of Facebook) transform almost immediately into relief, like overcompensating/projecting and giving Michael a lot of crap for being on his phone at all but he's a good sport, to diving into other forms of social media like twitter and instagram to fill my instant gratification quota (but it's nice because neither have the blackhole power that Facebook has which means I don't spend nearly as much time scrolllllinngggg), and also feeling in general that I have a better sense of my time and day and what I want to do. 

Choosing to log-off Facebook the same time I have off work definitely has significant impact. It means I live more in the doing/perceiving/sensing place with my days. I have a heightened awareness of my defense mechanisms, of my habitual pullings, and where I choose to put my time and what I choose to communicate. Like, right now, for example, I am aware of my choice to blog from a number of perspectives. 

1) I'm like FUCK YEAH! I'm doing it! It takes some level of discomfort to blog this often without overthinking what I'm typing or how it will be perceived. 

2) I'm like, ooohhh, blogging is fun, I'll do that instead of get on Facebook because I am putting it toward a "goal" that I value.

3) THIS IS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF PROCRASTINATION WTF KATHRYN

4) Simultaneously making a mental list of all the things I have to do in addition to this blog post.

5) but also not feeling like I'm going to explode because I feel like I have breathing room and damnit I'm on vacation and I don't have an excuse not to write

6) ...but there are those two things I didn't complete before I left.

7) Yay process!

Serendipitously, methinks, a friend of mine recently started a group text photo-sharing "challenge" to communicate parts of your day through pictures only, no captions. It serves as a nice replacement to Facebook, because it is a sustained connection to my peer group, but it is also a form of casual, genuine bonding without the perceived pressure of expectation—no need to be specific, no need to be artistic, poignant, important or funny.

Above are some of the photos I've shared with the group over the past couple of days. It seems like a whole lotta nothin and that's great because it is but also because it isn't. And isn't that true of everything, ultimately?