Laundry, Black Friday, IKEA, Society 6, Art, Design, Life
Okay here's the deal y'all (self) I mean really---why am I sitting here in bed at 1:36am writing? It's not for my adoring fans—meaning that it's not like I have a hoard of peeps reading my stuff waiting for me to post again and I'm biting my nails about it—but I do love those of you who read, I love you with all my heart. It is because by writing in this here box, I feel accountable somehow to myself. And because it all stays in one place.... "place" ... the internet. And because every once in a while I feel overwhelmed enough that my sense of being feels like it's all stuffed, like it's clogged, like my energy can't move comfortably from location to location carrying out its purposes. Every once in a while it's like a wrench gets thrown in the works and the only way I can get it out is to type and type and type until my eyes glaze over and then I'm done and I feel better.
Fun Fact: I filled out one of those silly surveys a-la-livejournal-era a couple weeks back except now it's on facebook whaaattt. One of the things to fill out was "Hometown" ... I wrote "The Internet"
There was a pretty major aha! shift tonight that is still in the midst of happening. I felt it in my heart and sacral chakras (love & creation, yo). Here's how it went down:
I am so effing ready for a new bed. I mean, ANY bed, but if we get logistical it is also a new bed. Michael and I have been sleeping on a futon mattress with a foam topper on it on the floor for over a year, and my back fucking hurts. You know? It hasn't always, but lately, it hurts. Meanwhile, we've been managing a flea problem from hell (aren't all flea problems from hell? still.) Lots of laundry. Lots of folding. Lots of making bags of clothes to give away once they are laundered—PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET ALL OF THESE CLOTHES OUT OF HERE.
I've been dreaming about my...dream... bed for about as long as we've been sleeping on the futon mattress with a foam topper on the floor (that's a little over a year for those that are just tuning in). It's the Mandal bed from IKEA and it remains, after many a search, the perfect (this is the sense I get)—OKAY, the top choice of—bed for our medium-small room with awkward angles. A headboard would crowd the space, a footboard would crowd the space, there's only really one place to put the bed where it doesn't mess with all the good sleep good life good room vibes—all reasons to get this minimal, platform bed with real wood and unobtrusive white (that we can paint if we want to) DRAWERS.
Yes, so here we come back to all the fucking laundry. (Don't be fooled kids, being a grown up is an infinite laundry situation. Laundry and dishes.) I'm sorting, I'm folding, I'm hanging, I'm bagging for Good Cheer. Sometimes Michael is laundering and I'm sorting, sometimes Michael is doing the dishes and I'm cleaning the catbox, but always.... the clothes are being laundered. All the combos.
More and more I am dreaming about this bed. Doing abstract but definite calculations in my head about how this bed is the perfect bed. The four drawers are the place for our socks and underwear and pjs and basic tshirts. Then we have the closet for... well, the point is I have it all planned out.
So, I google it again—ACTUALLY, Michael sitting next to me says "There are IKEA Black Friday sales" and I say "WHAT KIND" and immediately go to the website to see if the bed is on sale and THEN I google the bed so I can see non-ikea product photos—to enhance my visualization powers by fantasizing and drooling (a task I am quite skilled at) over this bed. I quickly find the same post I have before—the written by a real-live person who has purchased a bed for their actual apartment, and even still it looks too good.
Well anyway, I took to browsing her site a little more and come to find she's a designer. Not only that she's a BOOK COVER DESIGNER (the second time book design came up for me tonight) and not only that but SHE. SELLS. SHIT. ON. SOCIETY 6. (Shit not in like an insult to its quality, shit in the exclamatory sort of way.... it's very nice shit.)
SO this is where everything starts to go haywire. Now, don't get me wrong I've browsed Society 6 before and I was all like yeah cool, but also, it's not like I have any artwork that I WANT to upload to this site to turn into prints to get people to buy right now anyway.
Well... that has changed my friends. Suddenly my mind is flooding with possibilities. And that's when my heart and sacral chakras start getting all uncomfortable. Like "oh shit, something different, I sense change coming on, I'm uncomfortable" kind of uncomfortable.
It's that "fear of getting what you want" "scared of success" kind of uncomfortable. Or maybe it's not truly fear but more of the discomfort of your entire being rearranging itself to adjust to the "new information" which can't really be new because time is not a line but it feels new because it's an entirely original set of variables and... yeah.
Anyway—I guess my point is the time has come for me to take another step in some direction that I don't fully understand. Maybe it starts by uploading some of my digital collages in an online shop that offers them on basically any surface known to man for sale to anyone who wants to buy them (and then gives me part of the money.)
It's one of those things, I guess (LIES! I know) that will continue to reveal itself now that it has entered my life like the sounding of a gong.
I hope you liked my story y'all. (I had fun typing it)